New Form of Dating

Yesterday, I decided to try something new and downloaded Tinder. In the 21st century, people have the tendency to speak only via text messages and online chat rooms, which has led to a lack of communication in society. Even some couples when they go on dates, they prefer to be on their phones instead of conversing with each other. Its understandable because people are always on the run and its convenient to have their smartphones with them but it makes society unresponsive to face to face interaction to the point where they become narcissistic and antisocial. I wonder what people do and say on Tinder, which leads to hook ups and why people prefer this form of “dating” over the conventional way.

On Friday night (29th of April) at around 9.30pm, Tinder was downloaded and about 15 matches were made in the first 20 minutes. For the sake of this investigation, I can’t have my usual high standards so instead I decided to think like a 20 something male and just swiped right as much as possible but of course there were the usual left swipes. Out of the first 15 matches, four sources made the effort to begin conversation and it seemed to be going good. What was interesting is that out of the four, only one asked questions and seemed genuinely interested in  conversing, while the others just wanted to talk about themselves. Now I should have mentioned before, the age gap is set for 22-27.

On Saturday (30th of April), the first notifications came as early as 7 in the morning and it was new messages and matches. 100 matches on the first day and it was weird, the fact that so many guys swiped right when in real life no guy comes up to talk. What exactly are guys thinking about when they do swipe right or left? It kind of explains why the number of narcissistic people has grown in the last 10+ years. With the rise of social media, people have become so obsessed about their appearance that personality don’t matter. You can literally be the worst person but if you have a pretty face people will flock to you.

Here’s the thing, the reason why people meet each other on Tinder is because it’s easy. You can literally speak to anyone without leaving the comfort of your own home. Furthermore, people are so much more willing to open up to strangers over a computer screen but that’s because they don’t feel vulnerable or judged when doing so. Why are young people become so judgemental?  Is it to fill a void in their lives, or to make themselves feel alive for five minutes?

It’s Monday and I’m starting to get sick of it. It’s day 3 of this Tinder week and it’s incredibly difficult to keep up. We’re sitting at 300 matches and over 187 messages and out of that, most guys either ask for a hook up or they start a conversation with the worst pick up line.

**Disclaimer: I’m not using their real names for privacy reasons**

Michael says, “Tinder is effective, I’m kind of shy and I don’t go out much. Most girls I know are married with kids or aren’t my type. I think, being realistic, having good communication with people important for better understanding each other and their wants and needs”.

It’s Monday, day 4 and things have not changed. Everyday it’s constantly the same thing over and over again. It’s starting to get annoying actually. With most of the guys, the conversation starts with “hi, how are you”. Then we have basic introductions such as “what do you study? What do you do for work”. Within five minutes of starting a conversation, they already ask you out for coffee, for a hook up or for your number. Maybe I’m just starting feel stressed with the load of university work that I have to do but, why do they jump the gun? Call me old fashioned but I need to confirm that the guy is not a complete psycho before agreeing to meet up with him.

I’m going to say one good thing about this app… People open up and will tell you anything! This is wonderful because you learn so much so quickly. If you’re on the app for the sheer reason of getting insight into people’s lives and what makes them tick, it’s quite amazing.

On Tuesday night I decided to stop with this nonsense because it just got boring. I couldn’t bother reply to messages because there was no actual conversation, only quick “hey, how are you?” It can be concluded that on a social media platform like Tinder, you have initial contact and then you have sex first and learn about the person after. This is basically how most relationships work nowadays, right? All of the current relationships that I see around me, all began with a one night stand. Overall, the people I spoke to were very informative and were quite open but one guy in particular did get quiet when asked about the negative experiences of Tinder.

Originally posted on in April, 2016

One thought on “New Form of Dating

  1. ktwritings says:

    It’s a great experiment that you have undertook here! 👍🏼
    I would agree with you that people are definitely more open in the virtual world.

    Check out my latest post that centres around tinder as well! 😊


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